According to the countdown on my phone, today marks 130 days until my 30th birthday. 30! Wow! I don't really know what it all means. I feel like I should feel something about that but I don't. Am I supposed to be excited? Happy? Sad? I am not really any of those. I just... am.
I have done a lot of reflecting about life and my life in particular. I think that so far I haven't lived. I've merely existed. And that has to change. When 30 gets here I want to be a new me. Healthier me. Livelier me. Living and not just existing me. I want to get my passport and leave the country. I want to visit my friends who've moved away. I want to be more spontaneous. I want to worry less and have more fun.
More fun. More excitement. I want to start out with some kind of birthday celebration but I have no idea. I honestly haven't REALLY celebrated my birthday since I was a child. As an adult I haven't done anything big for my special day. I'm not the type to want a big party. And because my birthday is four days before Christmas it makes it hard... Some of the people I would want to celebrate with will be in their hometowns preparing to celebrate the holiday with families. Do I go on a trip? Head to Atlanta or New Orleans? And if so what do I do once I arrive? I've thought about getting a small group of friends together for a pole dancing party, dinner and drinks. Before the entire state of Florida seemed to lose its entire damn mind I wanted to go to the Harry Potter park at Universal Studios. I also thought about getting a small group of friends together and doing a spa day. Maybe I'll figure it out soon.
