**This is probably the most personal I've ever been, and will ever be in this blog.**
I just can't give up now, I've come to far from where I started... But what happens when you start a journey in life and somehow end up right where you began? You technically haven't come that far, so is it okay to give up then? Is it ever okay to give up?
One day I saw a tweet from Joel Olsteen. I saved it, and eventually added it as a favorite quotation on my Facebook profile. "God would not have planted those dreams in your heart if He had not already given you the ability to see them come to pass." At first the quote gave me some hope, made me feel better. I thought I'd be feeling better and able to pick up the pieces of my shattered dreams and start putting them back together. But then, I started to get... angry. Well not angry but I don't know what to call the emotions I was feeling. God gave me a dream. That dream was being fulfilled, then it was snatched away. I remember being a child and being told not to question God and his work. But as a human, I can't help it. I wonder why me? Did I do something wrong? And if so what was it? Where do I go from here? How do I get through this.
Over the years I will admit my relationship with religion has changed. I still believe in God, and prayer, and I know he can do great things. But I'm not that into church and all the traditions of religion. I sometimes wonder if I've lost faith, but if I had, I wouldn't pray for my friends and family, because if I didn't have faith, what would be the point? I am just at a point where I'm not sure what to do or think anymore. People say "let go and let God" or "stop worrying." Always easy to say when it's not you in a situation.
So what now? Do I keep striving for what I want, even though I have to start from scratch? Do I give up and settle for a life that's not what I want, just because? How do I deal with watching people around me continuing with their dreams while I'm having a setback?
I'm sure that whatever happens, I'll be alright eventually... but what do I do in the meantime?
I just can't give up now, I've come to far from where I started... But what happens when you start a journey in life and somehow end up right where you began? You technically haven't come that far, so is it okay to give up then? Is it ever okay to give up?
One day I saw a tweet from Joel Olsteen. I saved it, and eventually added it as a favorite quotation on my Facebook profile. "God would not have planted those dreams in your heart if He had not already given you the ability to see them come to pass." At first the quote gave me some hope, made me feel better. I thought I'd be feeling better and able to pick up the pieces of my shattered dreams and start putting them back together. But then, I started to get... angry. Well not angry but I don't know what to call the emotions I was feeling. God gave me a dream. That dream was being fulfilled, then it was snatched away. I remember being a child and being told not to question God and his work. But as a human, I can't help it. I wonder why me? Did I do something wrong? And if so what was it? Where do I go from here? How do I get through this.
Over the years I will admit my relationship with religion has changed. I still believe in God, and prayer, and I know he can do great things. But I'm not that into church and all the traditions of religion. I sometimes wonder if I've lost faith, but if I had, I wouldn't pray for my friends and family, because if I didn't have faith, what would be the point? I am just at a point where I'm not sure what to do or think anymore. People say "let go and let God" or "stop worrying." Always easy to say when it's not you in a situation.
So what now? Do I keep striving for what I want, even though I have to start from scratch? Do I give up and settle for a life that's not what I want, just because? How do I deal with watching people around me continuing with their dreams while I'm having a setback?
I'm sure that whatever happens, I'll be alright eventually... but what do I do in the meantime?
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