Shooby Doo Bop I Wanna Love You Shooby Doo Bop Computer Love

Maybe I need to be thinking about something other than love because I've been writing about it a lot lately.  But I have to talk about this one.  Computer Love. Online dating. Even with the problem of catfishing going on, I tried it.  Signed up for a couple of sites.  No need for specifics or details.

Can I tell you what the issue with online dating is though? People are crazy.  Yep.  And they can't read. And the sites need better filters.  So let's get into the problems I've run into.

1) Race/Ethnicity issues.  This is where I feel like better site filters would be useful.  If my profile shows that I am black, and John Doe says he will date any race or ethnicity BUT black, why even show him to me?  I'm looking at matches, see a cute white guy.  Profile is looking great.  Then you get to what they want in a match and under race/ethnicity they've chosen white only, or they have checked every option listed but black.  That's John's preference. Good for him. But why show me someone who wouldn't even give me a second look?  That's a waste of time.

2) Religion issues.  I consider myself more spiritual than religious but I do identify as Christian.  While I respect other religions and a person's right to believe what they want, I feel like maybe someone of another religion wouldn't vibe well with me for very specific reasons.  (If you watch Love & Hip Hop think about Consequence and Jenn the Pen.  Yep.  I want to avoid stuff like that.)  So just like number 1, I need the filters to be better.

3) AGE.  It's nothing but a number they say.  BUT I have to draw a line at some point.  For some reason I attract old men.  Even though my profiles say I accept a certain age range guys who see that and are WELL over that range contact me anyway.  Sir. I'm not looking for a father figure.  I have a dad.  If something serious were to come from this (Match.com commercials say more of their users get married than any other dating site, woo hoo!) I would want kids.  And I want my kids' dad to be able to run around and play with them.  Not be sitting on the couch drinking his prune juice with his feet up because he has "the gout."  Nah homie.

4) Creeps.  Yep I attract those too! There's one guy who has messaged me at least 6 times, usually from a different account, but with the same picture- as if I wouldn't notice.  Who does this? Why do I feel like some episode of SVU was based off of your antics, sir?  Why do I keep waiting for Chris Hansen to come out and tell his creepy ass to have a seat, and offer him some tea? Why the hell are you so creepy and why do I attract creeps?

So needless to say right now I am not renewing my match.com subscription. We'll see how I feel later.

Thoughts on Love: WHERE IS IT????

In my last post, Thoughts On Love: Can you have it all?, I talked about love and whether or not I could have it all.  I have had people tell me than you can have it all, which brought up more thoughts, mainly WHERE is the love?

No. Seriously.  My bestie had to go all the way to South Korea to find love.  With less than 100 days until my 30th birthday this question plagues me daily.  WHERE is it? I mean what do I do? Do I let love find me? Do I look for it? And either way, where do I need to be? Sure some people will say "just pray about it and God will send him to you" but Billie Holiday said "God bless the child that's got his own" and I believe even when you pray for something just sitting around waiting on it won't bring it to you.  Maybe you should help him help you.

As a second year veterinary student, I spend 4-7 hours a day in a classroom.  After school? I nap and study.  I work 12 hour shifts on weekends.  So when I do have free time, I find myself trying to relax (or catch up on errands and house work).  I've never really been big on clubbing/bar hopping, and let's face it, that's not really where anyone wants to find their mate, right? I can tell you first hand that even though it seems like a good idea, finding a man at church can lead you to a headache (or a stalker. Don't ask.)  Some people have found love online but how do you know if it's for you? How do you weed out the creeps, the guys only looking for sex, and the guys could be a suspect on the next episode of SVU? How do you make sure you don't end up asking Nev and Max to prove to you that your online boo isn't a Catfish? (ok the last one is rhetorical.  The average person isn't dumb enough to become a victim like that).

I was told I could have it all, but honestly, I'm not sure how, especially with my current schedule.  I feel like I won't ever be in the right place at the right time to meet the right guy, and that makes me wonder if I should just place thoughts of love on a back burner until I'm done with school.  But that won't work either because by then I'll be 32 and I'd like to at least have some prospects y then.  So where do you find love?