Can we take a minute and talk about grown ass women with bad hygiene? Like seriously, why is this even a thing? We all had the various health class talks about deodorant and body odor, right? I just don't get it. There is no reason for a woman to be walking around smelling like a fermented onion armpit and asshole sandwich. Someone who just got done running 10 miles? Might stink. Someone who was just wrestling a wild boar? Might stink. But what about doing nothing makes you stink? It shouldn't! What is going on in your life that you smell like this? You ever have a person pass by you and you automatically envision a green cloud following them? I'm talking about a smell so bad it lingers for several several SEVERAL minutes after the offender has left, and you're nauseated and just want to puke on everything? Like I feel like I should call these types of folks Pepe Le Eww. Or Funkmaster Flex. I hope women like this are single because I feel like they have the toxic snatch like Zoe from AHS Coven. Let them panties drop and so does your date.
Bitches walking around smelling like they need an autopsy. I feel like only a doctor can fix this type of funk, and maybe a bath in bleach and a dusting with baking soda. I just don't get it. I have so many questions. Can you not smell yourself? Do you not bathe? Are you trying to use fancy soap? Because I think Maybe just a bar of the original orange Dial is what you may need. Are you anti-deodorant? Trying to use the fancy natural stuff? Go get some Secret Clinical Strength, for the sake of us all. I'm just appalled that a woman can smell like that. And if your body smells like this what is your house like? Maybe this is what watching Hoarders in smell-o-vision would be like, and I don't like it. I just pray that the cilia in my nasal cavity and upper respiratory tract are not damaged so they can continue to do their job.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Single (But not Bitter) on Valentine's Day...
You know what I'm tired of? (Excuse that preposition at the end of the sentence) I'm tired of people assuming that ever single woman is bitter about love... or just bitter in general. (Why single men aren't thought of in this manner is probably another issue for later.) I don't talk about it much but you know what? I LOVE love. Have I been hurt? Hell yes. Was I mad about it? Damn straight. But in the end I've always been that hopeless romantic who believed that "the one" was out there for me. I see my cousin my bestie my sister, Delisha, preparing for her upcoming wedding day and I am happy that she found someone to love her. I look at my parents and their nearly 43 years of marriage and I long for a relationship that can stand the test of time. I have many cousins and sorors and friends who have found love and I love it! I know that God has a man out there for me who will love me the way I deserve to be loved and I can't wait. But for now I'm single, and to some people that automatically equals bitter. Would I like someone special to give me flowers and a gift and do something super romantic for me? Of course I would. But at the end of the day I'll be alone tonight, but I'm not bitter about it, because my favorite person to spend time with is Me. Maybe next year I'll be able to annoy my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter friends with my 27345098.7 posts about my "bae." But until then Happy Valentine's Day to the rest of y'all but especially my single folks.
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