Monday, February 24, 2014

So So SO Funkdafied

Can we take a minute and talk about grown ass women with bad hygiene? Like seriously, why is this even a thing?  We all had the various health class talks about deodorant and body odor, right? I just don't get it.  There is no reason for a woman to be walking around smelling like a fermented onion armpit and asshole sandwich.  Someone who just got done running 10 miles? Might stink.  Someone who was just wrestling a wild boar? Might stink.  But what about doing nothing makes you stink? It shouldn't!  What is going on in your life that you smell like this?  You ever have a person pass by you and you automatically envision a green cloud following them?  I'm talking about a smell so bad it lingers for several several SEVERAL minutes after the offender has left, and you're nauseated and just want to puke on everything?  Like I feel like I should call these types of folks Pepe Le Eww.  Or Funkmaster Flex.  I hope women like this are single because I feel like they have the toxic snatch like Zoe from AHS Coven.  Let them panties drop and so does your date.

Bitches walking around smelling like they need an autopsy.  I feel like only a doctor can fix this type of funk, and maybe a bath in bleach and a dusting with baking soda.  I just don't get it.  I have so many questions.  Can you not smell yourself? Do you not bathe? Are you trying to use fancy soap? Because I think Maybe just a bar of the original orange Dial is what you may need.  Are you anti-deodorant? Trying to use the fancy natural stuff? Go get some Secret Clinical Strength, for the sake of us all.  I'm just appalled that a woman can smell like that.  And if your body smells like this what is your house like?  Maybe this is what watching Hoarders in smell-o-vision would be like, and I don't like it.  I just pray that the cilia in my nasal cavity and upper respiratory tract are not damaged so they can continue to do their job.

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