Don't Like Gay Marriage? Don't Get Gay Married!

So I get out of an exam today and log on to twitter to kill time.  I see all kinds of comments that actually had me scared to ask what was going on this time.  Then I found out what the uproar was about...a wedding between a couple of gay guys who are members of a certain fraternity.

My first thoughts? Congrats! Watched the video and the wedding looked magnificent.  Meanwhile half of the people talking about it on twitter are single as shit, at home alone on Friday nights eating Blue Bell straight from the carton.  And let's not forget about the women who are chiming in while their man is screwing his "best friend" when he claims to be out playing basketball.  At least these men had the courage to be who they are and love who they love.  What I can't understand is why so many men who claim to be "straight" are always worried about what gay people are doing.  If you don't like the same sex, good for you.  Keep it moving.  Let these folks live! Shit.

Comments on another blog went to the place people always go when talking about gay marriage-- the Bible.  Meanwhile I'm pretty sure none of them are God and none of them have a hell to put anyone in so their opinions might as well just shut up because I'm sure if I opened their closets all types of skeletons would fall out.  I don't believe God hates gay people, I don't believe it is a "sin," or that a person will be condemned to hell for loving someone of the same sex-- but that's all for another post.

So let me just end by saying CONGRATULATIONS to Robert & Nathanel and I hope that they have a wonderful life together.

More than Just a Social Network...

Twenty four hours ago I received proof that twitter is more than just a social network.  It came in form of a text from my Soror Z who said she had bad news.  She told me that she'd called to check on our Soror Cryssy Davis and was told that she had passed.  Surely I was reading this incorrectly. No way this was right. Maybe she'd dialed the wrong number.  So many things went through my head.  How could this be happening? She has two young daughters under age 4- one only a few months old.  Surely they have not lost their mother.  And then the tears started to flow.

And honestly they haven't really stopped.  I got no sleep yesterday.  I got on twitter early, hoping to have been awakened from what seemed like a bad dream.  What I saw only made the flow of tears increase.  so many people loved Cryssy. She touched SO many of us and what's weird is that a lot of us haven't met her face to face.  It is proof that you can love someone you haven't met that, that they can be an important part of your life, through texts, emails and tweets.

I hadn't known her long but I knew her long enough to know that she had such a big heart.  She was full of love and genuinely cared about people.  After having her baby she was the one checking on me when I was having a rough time and in need of encouragement.  I can't tell you all how much it meant to see the simple message "how are you doing today baby girl?"  You just had a baby, I should be checking on you, but she had to make sure that I was doing okay.

She definitely left an imprint in my heart and memory forever, and I noticed today the amount of my Sorors who felt the same way.  Some new her longer, some had spent time with her in person, but we all loved her and we all miss her already.  And her love reached so much further than just my sorority sisters. Other friends of hers who also loved her, and who were brought into our lives by her, people who I can also say that I care about, expressed their love for Cryssy.  In the end one thing was evident-- no way was this "just twitter." It's like we have a little family.  A crazy family that makes us laugh, gives us advice, shares their lives with us in so many ways.  I plan to start meeting more of my twitter family, but even if I don't, they all have a special place in my heart.

You're Just Like a Pill, Instead of Making Me Better You're Making Me Ill

Suicide has been in the news a lot lately over the last couple of years.  Accounts of teens deciding to end their lives for one reason or another, often due to bullying.  I think about the topic of mental health often, especially as it relates to black people.  I read somewhere that at least two thirds of the black people who need mental health treatment do not receive it.  Although cost and availability are often an issue, I think a bigger one has to do with a stigma placed on mental illness in our community.  Someone who is depressed is often told to "pray about it" or to be positive or optimistic.  Sometimes they are even made to feel like they have no right to feel the way they do, because somewhere someone is in a worse situation.  I think that last one is what I hate the most.  Who are we to tell someone that their situation isn't "bad enough" to be depressed?  Sure someone else's life may seem worse to us, but there are always things that we as outsiders can't see.  That person who's life seems worse may have a stronger support system, or could be seeing someone for psychiatric help.

In the end, it's always easy to say that suicide is never the answer, but obviously, to a lot of people it is.  So tonight on twitter when I saw that a young lady was tweeting as she attempted to commit suicide, I took it seriously.  I prayed and hoped that someone she knew had gotten to her before it was too late.  Her tweets played out like a public suicide note, citing an abortion that she regrets, and a guy who allegedly coerced her into it and later broke up with her.  Several hours earlier she'd even mentioned anti-depressants, but that she felt like the side effects outweighed their benefits.  I wondered to myself if she'd ever been to a mental health professional who could evaluate her and explain the pros and cons of these medicines to her, and hoped she was okay.

Then it started.  For some reason I decided to search her twitter name, to see what kind of things were being tweeted in response to her tweets.  People accused her of faking this suicide attempt. First off who are you to say that someone you don't even know is faking something? And even if she was trying to get some attention, it's obvious that the girl was in pain and needed someone to help her.  If she was faking, maybe having someone reach out to her would have been what she needed to see that she needed to get some professional help.  Other's made jokes, and tweeted her asking if she was dead yet.

Someone in a different state called the police, and it seems as though someone was able to get to her and get her to a hospital.  I pray that this is true and the young lady is still alive.  What really scares me, however, is the people who may also have searched her name, seen the ridicule she was receiving, and decided that they would not seek mental help for themselves, in an attempt to avoid the same.  People often say "it's just twitter" and it is so obvious that it is SO much more than "just twitter" and I wish people would think about the consequences before being so insensitive.  Everything is not a joke, especially mental illness. Just remember, someone close to you could be struggling with something similar before joking about someone committing suicide.

Sitting here guess I didn't make bail....

Last night, after live tweeting the "16 and Knocked up" Reunion special and special episode on Mar-Kay and her second pregnancy and decision to have an abortion, I ended up in twitter jail.  Some of you, who don't tweet, or don't tweet often are probably looking at me sideways right about now.  Yes I said twitter jail.  I don't know how you end up there.  It is either a total daily limit or too many tweets in a short time frame.  Whatever the offense may be, the punishment is being in twitter jail.  You can't tweet.  Some have said you can work around this by tweeting via a different platform.  So if you are tweeting from your phone, go to web, or tweet deck.  I tried, and it doesn't work.  My only question today is, WHY is there a twitter jail? I mean seriously, twitter isn't working half the time and you want to keep me from saying things I want to say?  It seems like it took forever to be able to tweet again, as some friends and I were discussing some issues and I wanted to give my input but couldn't. Dear twitter, get rid of twitter jail!