Hard to Say Goodbye...

Today is VERY bittersweet for me.  If you read , then you know that for me twitter has been a lot more than just a social network.  I get to meet some of my sorority sisters in person for the first time later today and I'm SUPER excited. But the event that led to this meet and greet was not a happy one.  We lost our Soror Crystal Y. Davis suddenly.  Everyone keeps saying that it doesn't feel real-- and it doesn't.  I feel as if I'm sitting here waiting to be shaken awake from a horrible nightmare, and she'll be there.  So far, no such luck.  Sickle cell took her from us, and knowing that she's no longer in any pain is comforting, but I find myself wanting to know why? Why her? Why us? Why her family and her daughters? I am unable to make it to DC for the services, so my sorors and I will celebrate HER life today in New Orleans.  Rest In Paradise big sis.  We love you and miss you. And like Cyd said, you're dancing with the angels now.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope everyone enjoys this day and has lots of family and love surrounding them.

Go Girl It's Ya Birthday...

... however there will be no partying.  Today I turn 28 years young.  BUT I will still tell people 25.  27 was a CRAZY year for me. The year started bad, was bad in the middle and ended badly.  But you know what? I am alive, kinda healthy, and I have a ton of family, friends, and Sorors who love me.  And to be truly loved by these people that I have in my life? Best gift anyone could receive.  Things could be better but they could be worse, so I am thankful to see another birthday.

I'll actually be at work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights (which kinda sucks but Lord knows I'm blessed and thankful for this job), but when the clock strikes 12am Wednesday morning, I'm going to celebrate.  Not just for me but for my Soror Cryssy, a fellow Sagittarius, whose birthday celebration I could not attend and now she's no longer with us.


Oh and this song will be on repeat at several different times today. Rihanna- Birthday Cake.

More than Just a Social Network...

Twenty four hours ago I received proof that twitter is more than just a social network.  It came in form of a text from my Soror Z who said she had bad news.  She told me that she'd called to check on our Soror Cryssy Davis and was told that she had passed.  Surely I was reading this incorrectly. No way this was right. Maybe she'd dialed the wrong number.  So many things went through my head.  How could this be happening? She has two young daughters under age 4- one only a few months old.  Surely they have not lost their mother.  And then the tears started to flow.

And honestly they haven't really stopped.  I got no sleep yesterday.  I got on twitter early, hoping to have been awakened from what seemed like a bad dream.  What I saw only made the flow of tears increase.  so many people loved Cryssy. She touched SO many of us and what's weird is that a lot of us haven't met her face to face.  It is proof that you can love someone you haven't met that, that they can be an important part of your life, through texts, emails and tweets.

I hadn't known her long but I knew her long enough to know that she had such a big heart.  She was full of love and genuinely cared about people.  After having her baby she was the one checking on me when I was having a rough time and in need of encouragement.  I can't tell you all how much it meant to see the simple message "how are you doing today baby girl?"  You just had a baby, I should be checking on you, but she had to make sure that I was doing okay.

She definitely left an imprint in my heart and memory forever, and I noticed today the amount of my Sorors who felt the same way.  Some new her longer, some had spent time with her in person, but we all loved her and we all miss her already.  And her love reached so much further than just my sorority sisters. Other friends of hers who also loved her, and who were brought into our lives by her, people who I can also say that I care about, expressed their love for Cryssy.  In the end one thing was evident-- no way was this "just twitter." It's like we have a little family.  A crazy family that makes us laugh, gives us advice, shares their lives with us in so many ways.  I plan to start meeting more of my twitter family, but even if I don't, they all have a special place in my heart.

Don't Put a Bad Word in Your Soul...

The picture above is a tweet from Kirk Franklin.  It pretty much speaks for itself.  This is why you shouldn't ask everybody to pray for you.  And it's why I can't understand people who still support Eddie Long and others like him.  Why are you still sitting in THAT church on Sundays? 

You're Just Like a Pill, Instead of Making Me Better You're Making Me Ill

Suicide has been in the news a lot lately over the last couple of years.  Accounts of teens deciding to end their lives for one reason or another, often due to bullying.  I think about the topic of mental health often, especially as it relates to black people.  I read somewhere that at least two thirds of the black people who need mental health treatment do not receive it.  Although cost and availability are often an issue, I think a bigger one has to do with a stigma placed on mental illness in our community.  Someone who is depressed is often told to "pray about it" or to be positive or optimistic.  Sometimes they are even made to feel like they have no right to feel the way they do, because somewhere someone is in a worse situation.  I think that last one is what I hate the most.  Who are we to tell someone that their situation isn't "bad enough" to be depressed?  Sure someone else's life may seem worse to us, but there are always things that we as outsiders can't see.  That person who's life seems worse may have a stronger support system, or could be seeing someone for psychiatric help.

In the end, it's always easy to say that suicide is never the answer, but obviously, to a lot of people it is.  So tonight on twitter when I saw that a young lady was tweeting as she attempted to commit suicide, I took it seriously.  I prayed and hoped that someone she knew had gotten to her before it was too late.  Her tweets played out like a public suicide note, citing an abortion that she regrets, and a guy who allegedly coerced her into it and later broke up with her.  Several hours earlier she'd even mentioned anti-depressants, but that she felt like the side effects outweighed their benefits.  I wondered to myself if she'd ever been to a mental health professional who could evaluate her and explain the pros and cons of these medicines to her, and hoped she was okay.

Then it started.  For some reason I decided to search her twitter name, to see what kind of things were being tweeted in response to her tweets.  People accused her of faking this suicide attempt. First off who are you to say that someone you don't even know is faking something? And even if she was trying to get some attention, it's obvious that the girl was in pain and needed someone to help her.  If she was faking, maybe having someone reach out to her would have been what she needed to see that she needed to get some professional help.  Other's made jokes, and tweeted her asking if she was dead yet.

Someone in a different state called the police, and it seems as though someone was able to get to her and get her to a hospital.  I pray that this is true and the young lady is still alive.  What really scares me, however, is the people who may also have searched her name, seen the ridicule she was receiving, and decided that they would not seek mental help for themselves, in an attempt to avoid the same.  People often say "it's just twitter" and it is so obvious that it is SO much more than "just twitter" and I wish people would think about the consequences before being so insensitive.  Everything is not a joke, especially mental illness. Just remember, someone close to you could be struggling with something similar before joking about someone committing suicide.

My Vision Board

Vision Boards.  I heard about these a little over a year ago.  I was never big into Oprah or similar shows, and no one I knew was really talking about them, so I had no idea what they were or what the purpose was.  A vision board is a way to use the "laws of attraction" to make things happen in your life.  You get a board and put pictures or words that represent things you want out of life.

I started w/ this plain cork message board I bought at Walmart like a year ago. (Yeah, that's how long it took me to get this thing moving.)  I thought it was too plain. I wanted it to be happy and colorful, because I need happy and colorful right now.  So I covered it with scrapbook paper.  Sparkly, colorful, girly scrapbook paper.  And added a blingy sticker.  To me the hard part was finding pictures or sayings that represented what I want.  I'm still not 100% done with it.  I had to go through SO many magazines.  (Between my parents and I we have subscriptions to Essence, Ebony, O, Men's Health, Ladies Home Journal and Prevention.)  I actually printed a couple of things that I knew I wouldn't find in any magazine.

Things represented on my board: getting my DVM, money (financial security, stability, debt management), marriage and family (meaning babies), health (spiritual, mental and physical) and weight loss, new car and house.  I didn't put anything related to friends and family on there because honestly, that's a pretty good part of my life.  I have awesome friends and family.  Even if they get on my nerves occasionally I couldn't ask for better.  I also need to find something to represent travel.  Because that's something I want to be able to do.

Here's some pics of what I have so far:

Crazy + Racism + A Book...

So here are some excerpts from Pat Buchanan's book.  I'm not going to comment, I just wanted to share.  You make up your own mind about what you think about it.  I just think that someone needs to take his dementia meds.

12 Pretty Racist or Just Crazy Quotes from Pat Buchanan's Book

My Uterus, My Property... Trespassers Shall be Shot

My uterus is angry.  Why? Because politicians keep trying to control her.  Right now I don't want a baby in my uterus, why the hell would I want a damn law maker in it?

Today the House of Representatives passed the "Protect Life Act."  If you guessed that this has something to do with abortion, you are correct.  What do you win for guessing correctly? If you are a woman and want to buy private insurance to pay for your abortion needs, that's a no-go.  And if you are pregnant, and that fetus poses some health risk to you, and you are on your death bed a doctor gets to say that they will NOT perform an abortion to save your life, because that fetus is more important, even though if you die, that fetus damn sure won't live.  (Scientifically a fetus is not a life during the time that it is legal to have an abortion mainly because it wouldn't survive outside of the uterus, but I digress.)  I don't see how anyone thinks that it is okay to say "you may be currently bleeding to death, or suffering some other life-threatening issue due to this fetus, but I refuse to save your life because I think abortion is wrong."  I can understand not wanting federal money spent on abortions (Although if a woman who is on medicaid is raped, I don't see why that abortion couldn't be covered, but again, I digress.)

Why does this issue piss me off so much? First, if you believe in abortion, or not, if it's not your uterus, it's not your damn business!  Another reason is because many of the opponents of abortion are men, who will never carry a child in their womb.  Until they can grow a uterus, anyone with a penis should step away from this issue and have a seat.  A third reason is the position of the parties.  Many of the pro-lifers are Rethuglicans Republicans.  You are so big on saving lives but you won't hesitate executing people.  If life is precious, life is precious.  You can't pick and choose (unless you are a republican, apparently.)  I don't believe that people should use abortions as their form of birth control, but sometimes things happen, and if you recognize that you aren't ready to raise a child, you should be able to decide not to do so.  There are tons of kids in this country waiting to be adopted-- why add to that? And Lord knows the repubs aren't going to come out of their pockets to help clothe, feed, diaper or educate the babies they are trying to force people to have.

The bottom line is this: A woman's decisions about her reproductive choices belong to her, and no one else.  So politicians, and anyone else trying to tell a woman to have a baby, not to have a baby, not to have more babies, or to have babies before they are ready should just shut the hell up already!

Take Note...

It was the announcement that overshadowed this year's VMAs.  Beyonce and Jay-Z are having a baby.  Great for them.  Congratulations.  As usual, Beyonce's stans couldn't contain themselves.  People starting comparing how she looks as a pregnant woman to other formerly pregnant stars, made a fake twitter account for her fetus, even asked where they could send her gifts.  (Not that she'd want or need anything you'd send her because the heffa and her husband are paid.  That baby will be pooping in silk/Egyptian cotton blend diapers.  Pacifier? Probably made of platinum, pearls, and diamonds.)

Now don't get me wrong, I love some of her music, I like some of her movies despite her lack of acting skills, and I can admit she puts on a hell of a show.  But I feel like the world is over saturated with Beyonce.  It even went as far as one person saying that we should "take notes" of Beyonce and Jay-Z's courtship, marriage, and pregnancy.  Really? I mean it is great that they did things the "old fashion way" (first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Beyonce with a baby carriage) but take note on them?  THIS is what is wrong with America, and particularly the black community.  Worried about the wrong things.  There are so many other things that are relevant and important of which we should take note.  I made a list:

1) Education.  Everyday on twitter someone posts some new ignorance.  A girl spelled "faucet" as "phosite" today.  One guy posted about a woman being on her "minstrel cycle."  I even had a follower try to shade Drake's lyric's about the square root of 69.  Drake said it's "8 something" this guy said it was 7.  The last time I checked 7 squared was 49.  George W. Bush said "no child left behind" but clearly not only children but some grown asses were left stranded.  Our kids aren't reading or taking school seriously. Barely passing is enough to them, but what happened to striving for excellence instead of settling for mediocrity?  Maybe they should have taken notes of what their English and Math teachers had to say.

2) History. Today there was an awesome (though brief) tribute to MLK on BET.  "Martin Luther King: Alpha Man."  He's great.  But the youth today? They don't appreciate what he and others did for us.  They don't even know how Emmett Till was or why he is important.  A few weeks back I saw "Who is Emmett Till and what's wrong with his face?"  Seriously? If you don't know your history, you repeat it, and we are already there with James Anderson being killed in Mississippi.  But I bet no one is taking notes on that.  They aren't even TALKING about it.  I posted links to the article on Facebook.  I got hardly any comments.  I post a picture that someone made as a joke of what this Bey-Z baby will look like and I got several comments and "likes" within 10 minutes.  Martin Luther King did not have a dream that one day little girls would "take note" of Beyonce and her lacefronts and onesies.

3) Politics.  It's complicated, sometimes it's boring, but we should still pay attention.  Take note of which of your state's congressmen vote for or against certain bills.  Which ones were willing to let our nation default to make President Obama look bad.  Which ones are against helping the unemployed.  What is going on in your city and your state.  Are you paying attention to your local police, school systems, etc?  Are you registered to vote and exercising your right to do so?  Or are you the person who doesn't vote but then wants to bitch when the politicians are doing things you don't like? Take note of that.

4) The economy. It sucks.  People are struggling financially.  But how many people are even making good financial choices? How many people were in line with the Cool Greys came out-- spending their rent money? How many people are spending their money to wear brand names they see celebrities wearing (a lot of times celebs are gifted items by the designer they don't even pay for that stuff) but your kid is walking around looking like Annie before she met Oliver Warbucks?  How many people are living beyond their means to try to impress others, instead of living within? How many people have plans for their financial future? Take note of that.

5) Our children.  I mentioned education, but the youth of this country are just... well I have no words.  The guys wear their pants hanging off of their asses so low that they have to hold them as they walk.  The girls are 12 dressing like they are 21.  People are becoming grandparents in their 30s.  Kids are dying, selling drugs, going to jail.  They don't have real mentors.  I see people say that they hope their child has athletic abilities "so he can go to the NBA or the NFL."  Is that all we see in our children? You don't want your child to be a teacher, doctor, lawyer, or the next president? You are fine with your child's role model being Beyonce, Keri Hilson, Lil Wayne when it should be you, the teacher, the engineer? Why aren't we taking note of what is going on with our youth?

I don't want anyone to take this rant the wrong way.  I have celebrities that I love.  I'm a fan of certain singers and actors/actresses, but there comes a time where people need to pay attention to the real issues of life. And I realize there are people out there who are aware of the more important things in life, and I salute you.

Can't Give Up Now????

**This is probably the most personal I've ever been, and will ever be in this blog.**

I just can't give up now, I've come to far from where I started...  But what happens when you start a journey in life and somehow end up right where you began?  You technically haven't come that far, so is it okay to give up then? Is it ever okay to give up?

One day I saw a tweet from Joel Olsteen.  I saved it, and eventually added it as a favorite quotation on my Facebook profile.  "God would not have planted those dreams in your heart if He had not already given you the ability to see them come to pass."  At first the quote gave me some hope, made me feel better.  I thought I'd be feeling better and able to pick up the pieces of my shattered dreams and start putting them back together.  But then, I started to get... angry.  Well not angry but I don't know what to call the emotions I was feeling.  God gave me a dream.  That dream was being fulfilled, then it was snatched away.  I remember being a child and being told not to question God and his work.  But as a human, I can't help it.  I wonder why me? Did I do something wrong? And if so what was it? Where do I go from here? How do I get through this.

Over the years I will admit my relationship with religion has changed.  I still believe in God, and prayer, and I know he can do great things.  But I'm not that into church and all the traditions of religion.  I sometimes wonder if I've lost faith, but if I had, I wouldn't pray for my friends and family, because if I didn't have faith, what would be the point? I am just at a point where I'm not sure what to do or think anymore.  People say "let go and let God" or "stop worrying."  Always easy to say when it's not you in a situation.

So what now? Do I keep striving for what I want, even though I have to start from scratch? Do I give up and settle for a life that's not what I want, just because? How do I deal with watching people around me continuing with their dreams while I'm having a setback?

I'm sure that whatever happens, I'll be alright eventually... but what do I do in the meantime? 

There's always one....

The ugly friend/soror/ls/sister/frat/lb/member of a group that hangs out sometimes. There is always one. Look around. Don't see the ugly friend/soror/ls/sister/frat/lb/member of a group that hangs out sometimes? It could be you.

Ask yourself these questions. Are you ever:

1) left holding purses and watching drinks at the club while everyone else dances with cute guys/girls?

2) forced to pay to get in while everyone else gets in free?

3) standing in the back of a picture even though you are short?

4) always taking the picture but never IN it?

5) cropped out of pics on Facebook?

6) paired with the ugly person everytime a group of the opposite sex approaches your group?

If you answer yes to one or more (or likely all) of these, then I must inform you that you ate the ugly friend/soror/ls/sister/frat/lb/member of a group that hangs out sometimes.

Are you ready for some football?!?!?!

My answer? Eh. Whatever.

I am a college football fan.  Specifically the SEC and really specifically Auburn (WDE!).  If you live in Alabama you kind of have no choice.  You have to choose between Auburn and Alabama early in life.  I never really liked or understood football, but I always leaned towards the orange and blue, and after going to school for 4 years in the same town as Alabama, my hatred of that school grew strong and my love of Auburn grew even more.  But I digress.

Today starts the NFL preseason.  I only know this because of twitter because I honestly don't give a damn.  Growing up I never really had an interest or an understanding so while the rest of my family, mom included watched football, I played with my toys, read, slept, did homework, whatever.  As far as professional football goes we were always Saints fans, probably because they are the closest professional team to us, and their colors are pretty (which is how I pick sports teams- don't judge me).

What's crazy though is that I see a lot of guys now saying their wife must love and know football, or that a real woman actually knows something about the game.  Seriously? I think that's a load of bullshit.  So what if I don't know all the rules, the players or even give a damn about football? It certainly doesn't make me any less of a woman.  I think guys are worried because some women have a reputation of being football haters- trying to change the channel while they are watching, or not "allowing" them to invite their boys over for the game. Just because a woman doesn't like football doesn't mean she's a party pooper! I'm not married but if I were I'd have no problem w/ my husband watching football.  Hell I will make you wings and bring you cold beer if that's what you want.  But don't reduce my womanhood to whether or not I like sports because there's so much more than that.  And if you are a guy who says his future wife MUST LOVE sports, well.... BYE.  Because other than my Auburn Tigers (WDE!) I can't be bothered to watch.

I Wanna Be Brown!

Last night I watched the latest episode of TLC's "Toddlers and Tiaras."  I have a lot to say about the show in general, but that's a whole other blog post.  On last night's show there was a little girl named Allyson.  Allyson only picks out "brown" dolls for herself, and she prays for God to make her "brown."   Her favorite celebrity is Beyonce, and when she goes to get her spray tan, she takes a picture with "brown" skin to show how she wants to look.

I honestly don't know how to feel about this.  At first, I thought it was cute.  At the very least it's nice to see a little Caucasian girl who thinks that Black is beautiful.  At first I figured maybe her love for "brown" skin was only for lighter shades, but then they show her complementing another pageant contestant on her beauty.  This contestant was a little Black girl who was darker than Beyonce.   I can't help but wonder why this little girl doesn't love her OWN skin.  I love that she thinks Black is beautiful, but praying to God to make her "brown" seems like she doesn't love "the skin she's in."  I already worry about these girls in the pageant world, especially at such a young age, and how not being the best every time will affect them, it seems like her mother should be doing more-- not to make her dislike the brown skin that she loves so much, but to teach her that in addition to loving "brown" skin, she can also love the skin that God gave her.

What do you guys think? Leave a comment.

Insomnia

Despite being exhausted and having to be up in an hour, what am I doing? Typing a blog post on my phone.

I'm on the couch. Big brother is on the air mattress. At first I was able to sleep with his snoring. Woke up at 3:30 and have been up since. I have noise isolating earbuds in my ear, with Carl Thomas singing "Summer Rain." Tried drowning him out with music. Tried to use a rain sounds app to soothe me to sleep. Nothing. Alarm going off in 40 minutes. Do I give up on more sleep?

You're HOW old and you live with your parents?

1999.  The first single off of TLC's "Fanmail" album is released.  No Scrubs.  Two simple words.  It was a song about a woman who didn't want a guy who didn't have his own car, didn't pay his own bill, and lived at home with his mama.  Although no one really plays the song or calls men "scrubs" anymore, the sentiment still remained.  No woman or man wanted a mate that couldn't do for themselves.

Fast forward to 2011.  Our nation's economy is in shambles.  People who have degrees are jobless, some homeless.  People are getting laid off left and right and finding a new job often takes months or years.  Some still haven't found new jobs.  And let's not act like people in this country save for a rainy day.  Sure, some of us do, but others have credit card debts nearly as big as their yearly salaries, and save very little.  Many people are one paycheck from being homeless.

Still it seems many people are stuck on whether or not someone lives with the parents.  I am in the progress of moving... back to my parents' house.  I've got things going on that I won't get into here, but the best decision was to move back in with them.  For the most part, no 20-something really wants to move back into their parents home.  You won't be able to live the way you used to live.  You may not have a curfew, but coming in  5am is disrespectful and will surely lead to some discord.  Unless you are in a position to help with bills, you get no say over what the temperature is, what brand of orange juice is in the fridge or whether the Charmin is soft or strong.  All of these things are reasons I'll miss living on my own, along with the freedom my pets have in my home.  What I will miss most though is the freedom to walk around the house naked.  Don't judge me, you know you like to be naked too!

Moving home in your *cough* late 20s sucks, but honestly, it's not just a curse, it's a blessing.  I am very thankful to have parents who are in a position to be able to take in my 2 dogs, 1 rather large cat and their grown daughter.  I'm thankful that despite not having a job currently my bills get paid, I have food to eat, and I have gas in my car.  

I guess at the end of the day, we should all think twice before judging-- or better yet not judge at all.  That guy who lives with his mother could have been recently laid off from a lucrative job, and is only living with her to cut his costs while searching for a new position.  Of course every person living with his/her parents isn't someone who fell victim to this country's horrible economy.  There are some lazy bums out there.  The key is being able to tell the difference.

Rest In Peace Amy Winehouse

She was a wonderful artist.  Beautiful voice.  Awesome songs.  Taken too soon.  She struggled with addiction while on this earth.  Only she can know the pain that led to her addiction.  I hope she at least has peace now. Her album, Back to Black, really got me through some crazy times.  These days, music is not good.  There's one hot song on an album full of trash.  But this was one of those albums, one of those artists, that could be listened to from start to finish.  She will be missed.

My Day-Late Father's Day Blog

Another Father's day has come an gone.  The day was filled with childhood memories, stories of times we spent with our dads, and memorials of the fathers who have passed away.  I personally remembered all the fun things my dad and I would do.  He took me to movies (the two i remember most clearly were Peter Pan and Little Rascals), the circus, and to get ice cream after school. I recall the nights where he tucked me in, usually so tight that I couldn't move, so I knew to get positioned how I wanted before he came in.  I remembered him calling home from work to check in on me when I was sick as a kid.  And I remembered how every time I see someone from my HS band, they ask "How is your dad?"

But one thing that Father's day is full of, that you don't really see on Mother's Day, is what I call "bad-daddy bashing."  I understand that it hurts that your father chose not to be in your life.  But why take a day that is meant to celebrate fathers and turn it into a "I hate my daddy, he ain't shit" type of day?  Why not celebrate that uncle or grandfather who was there for you, or your neighbor who is a great father to his children? Oh and let's not forget baby daddy bashing.  You got knocked up, he hasn't helped take care of the child.  You are pissed, as you should be.  But you can't complain about him the other 364 days of the year? And then some of the women going around talking about how their baby daddy is no good, have had more than one child with him.  Surely you realized he was a deadbeat after he the first child, so why keep going?

and let's not forget all the Happy Father's Day wishes given to single moms.  Yep, they do the work of two parents, but they are still MOTHERS, not FATHERS.  Give them their shine on Mother's Day.  Since they do twice the work, give them twice the shine.

When it all comes down to it, free speech says these people can complain as much as they want.  That's fine.  I just wish people wouldn't be so negative about something like this.  There are plenty of horrible mothers out there that don't get bashed all day on Mother's Day.  There are plenty of single fathers who don't get Mother's Day cards.  Just my 2 cents.

Before I go I wanted to share to positive things about fathers:  Click Here

An article on a young man who is raising his niece and nephew:

I call before I come...

... I don't just pop over out the blue.  I thought people in their 80s were more likely to have good manners.  If you call someone when en route to their home, that does not count.  Call me before you leave your house.  Maybe I have something to do. Maybe I'm having other people over.  Maybe I just want to lay around naked on my couch and have a lazy evening.

I've been going through a lot lately and I have been at my parents' house for over a week.  I'd mostly been stuck in the house, with a car that didn't work, so I've only seen one friend and none of my family other than my parents and brother.  The UniverSoul circus was in town.  Tonight was the last night and I was going to go the last show w/ my mom.  Someone probably thinks I'm making a big deal of it, and maybe I am, but I frankly don't care.  I wanted to spend some time doing something I'd enjoy, and doing it with my mom would be a bonus. But instead I sat in my room, watching the clock move closer to showtime, with no signs of this old man shutting up.  So we missed the show, and I am very frustrated. It's just another disappointment in a long line of recent disappointments for me.

Moral of the story, call before you come.  And don't call when you are already on the way.  Call before you leave.  Be courteous. It isn't that hard.

Kiss My Asthma!

As I browsed through my twitter timeline today, I found out that today was World Asthma Day.  And May is Asthma Awareness Month.  I had no idea.  A tweet from the beautiful actress Anika Noni Rose lead me to this article on the American Lung Association's website.

I grew up with asthma as a child.  I don't remember having asthma attacks, but I remember days when my asthma "flared up."  There was a tightness in my chest, almost like someone put my lungs into a corset.  I was told I was growing out of it, but my lungs have always been an issue.  In the last couple of years I started feeling that tightness again, and it slowly became more and more of an issue.  Walking up the stairs to lab was a task.  Went to the doctor, and got put back onto an inhaler... two inhalers actually.  the advair really makes a difference but it's expensive.  What I really became aware of today was that our healthcare system is still so flawed.  Why you say? Because that advair is $160.  Once I reach the deductible on this new insurance... $60.  But a man can get Levitra, a "male enhancement" medicine (google it) for $9 a month.  If we are going to fight asthma, high cholesterol, diabetes, we have to start making the medicines more attainable, which means making them cost less.

A House United

Daily I see photos posted from friends in Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, and other areas affected by this week's storms.  It's a heart-breaking experience.  I look at pictures from Tuscaloosa, where I spent four years at Stillman College, not recognizing anything because most of what I see is rubble.  I have sorority sisters whose families lost everything, or had significant damage.  Hundreds of lives were lost, including 5 people from the same family in Arab, AL.  As always, being alive is a blessing, but let's not make it seem like losing everything isn't big. Life is great, but until you are one of the people who has lost everything, you can't discount how much that affects someone.  I encourage everyone to donate.  Give blood. Give money. Give items.  Give time.  Pray. And please don't forget about the smaller cities.  I can promise you that there will be no shortage of donations to Tuscaloosa or Birmingham, but smaller cities won't get as many, and will have less resources to help themselves.

Things needed include (but are not limited to): bottled water, non-perishable food items, linens, pillows, clothes, shoes, bags or containers to hold belongings, contact solution, pet food and supplies, feminine hygiene products, baby clothes, diapers, first aid items, hand sanitizer, batteries, flash lights, trash bags, toiletries. Also consider teddy bears or other toys for children.  They can't understand what's going on, and something as simple as a teddy bear to hug can make them feel a little better.

Some helpful links:

• A page dedicated to reuniting owners w/ their lost pets, and pets w/ their lost owners: Animals Lost & Found
• If you need to search for a missing loved one, and other info directly from the city of Tuscaloosa:  City of Tuscaloosa Website
• Toomer's for Tuscaloosa, a page that is coordinating donation and volunteer efforts to help tuscaloosa, Birmingham, and other affected areas: Toomer's for Tuscaloosa
• Map of the damage by county: EMA Map

Man Of The Hour

Today is my baby Carlton's 4th birthday! It's crazy! It seems just yesterday that my cousin and I drove to pick up that 11 week old bundle of fur and love.  I love him so much.  He's my little booger, my protector.  He keeps me laughing with his hilarious antics, and he brings sexy back to the dog park.  He loves me even when I'm fussing at him for eating the cat food or pestering the cat, he's always excited to see me come home, and never wants me to go.  Love you stink bug!

Fight the Power!

I don't know why, but this topic makes me think of the Public Enemy song "Fight the Power," hence the title.  This has been on my mind for months, and I chose not to write about it, but after being bombarded by the subject the last few days I decided to write about it, but keep specifics out of the scenario.  The question is simple: Where should employers and academic institutions draw the line when researching prospective employees/students? 

I'm sure everyone will be in agreement that your work history, educational background, and to an extent- criminal history- are fair game.  (I say to an extent in criminal history because if you got arrested for too many unpaid traffic tickets, I think it's a bit  much to prevent you from obtaining a job or furthering your education, but I digress.)  But where do we draw the line? I've heard of interviewers ASKING to see an applicant's Facebook profile.  And if you decline, then what? Is it right for them to not hire someone based off them not wanting to divulge that information? If a person's page is public, is it right for a company or institution to not choose someone based off what they see there? Is that not discrimination? As someone who hopes to own my own business one day, and therefore be in the position to be hiring employees, I don't see why whether someone curses, drinks, cross dresses, have an affinity to porn, are Republican or Democrat, et cetera, should matter.  I need to know whether or not you have a criminal history, if you've been reliable in work in the past, etc. 

Then there's another scenario. Once you are working/attending school somewhere, should that place have a say in what you do outside of work/school? The answer to that should be pretty simple, and that's no.  I mean obviously, if you work for a certain business and have access to secrets, you wouldn't want to be posting company business out on social networks, and getting yourself arrested probably isn't a great idea but other than that, who cares?  While you are on the job/on campus you are a doctor, lawyer, veterinarian, teacher, nurse, student, whatever, but first and foremost you are a human.  You want to go to a bar, drink too much, and dance badly and off beat to todays hottest hits? You should be able to do so without worrying that someone will judge you because of it.  I think some people need to look into their own closets for skeletons before trying to control and regulate others.  Most people aren't the same at work as they are at home.  Maybe you don't curse, so you think it's offensive that a future employee has cursing on their Facebook page.  Well maybe  someone who doesn't drink finds it offensive that you get drunk at company parties.  Just think about it. 

Recently a woman was fired over making a comment on Facebook about her boss.  They had a policy about making disparaging comments about coworkers or the company on the internet.  While doing so may not have been the greatest idea, the first amendment does still exist and we are free to say what we want in this country.  The company was sued by the National Labor Relations Board, and a settlement was reached.  The company is now changing those policies, and it seems to me many other companies better at least pay attention.  (Read more about the case)

Maybe one day things will change, and laws will be more specific about these things, but in an ever-changing world of technology, I doubt that the laws will keep up.  Bottom line, a company or a school should be interested in an applicant's background only in a way that will affect their job or academic performance, or the safety of others.  Personal lives are and should be just that-- PERSONAL.  

Smile

Feeling some kinda way these last few days. This song pretty much sums it up...

So, So, So Funkdafied

The temperature is heating up.  Currently 80 degrees outside.  This is the time of year where some people seem to throw hygiene out of the window.  Last year when I worked in my hometown, we had a 2 or 3 week period where the heat index was up to 114 degrees.  Needless to say whether I was at work or just in public, there were occasions where my nose was assaulted by a raunchy body odor.

I need you to all do better this year. First off, don't be scared of clinical strength deodorant!  It is your friend.  With a high heat index like we had last year for weeks in a row, everyone probably needs it.  But if you sweat more than the average person (and you KNOW this is you, no one should have to tell you that), you really need to invest in the clinical strength deodorant.  Keep those toxic fumes out of the environment.

Secondly, and this is very simple yet many still don't do it, WASH YOUR ASS.  Simple.  In the summer time I take two showers a day, and have been known to take more. Some of you want to say that your skin will dry out, etc.  Well, bitches, that's why they make lotion!  When you can start sweating simply walking from your house to your car, it's hot.  It's so hot that you probably stink.  Don't worry, it happens to the best of us, just don't be scared to take a second shower after you are done being out and about for the day.  And stop using all that fruity ass soap and shit! Get you some good ass regular soap, and scrub your ass.  Your water bill may be slightly higher, but if you notice your friends don't want to be around you as much, you might want to sniff your pits and hop on into that shower.

Last, but not least, do not, under any circumstances, try to cover up your funk.  If you spray vanilla on shit what do you get? Vanilla shit!  You can't cover funk with flowers.  You were better off letting your funk linger than trying to mask it with that damn Victoria's Secret Love Spell.  Yes, I'm talking to you, with the Bath and Body Words Warm Vanilla Sugar.  Walk away from the body spray, and walk into the shower.

And please, by no means, think that this post was JUST for women.  All of the above goes for men too.  The bottom line is, it is summer.  Tis the season to be funky.  But it doesn't HAVE to be that way if you don't let it.  You sweat, you shower.  You need clinical strength deodorant, use it.  You have funk don't try to cover it.  Please, for the sake of the nose hairs of people who have to be near you, fight the funk this summer.

New Music and New Erms...

There's a lot of new music coming out, and for a change a lot of it is GOOD MUSIC.  Adele.  Marsha Ambrosius. Jennifer Hudson.

But there's a problem.  I am a HUGE J. Hud fan, yet I have not bought her album.  I haven't even heard the first single "Where you At?" (Maybe that has something to do with the incorrect grammar there but who knows.)  I was thinking earlier about why am not already listening to this CD.  And then it hit me (like Tina did Ike in the limo it finally hit me).

Think back to Dreamgirls.  Jen was BIG. I fell in love with her voice and her as a person when that movie came out.  It took everything in me not to yell "sing bitch sing" at the screen, while watching the movie in the theater.  Before her debut album, Jennifer Hudson, dropped, J. Hud again graced our screen in Sex and the City the Movie.  With all that buzz, I was excited about her first cd.

Fast forward to 2011.  What have we seen of Jennifer lately?  Yep.  You got it.  Those damn Weight Watchers commercials where she talks about her new "erms" and sings needlessly throughout every commercial.  At this point a lot of people, myself included, were just tired of seeing her.  There is nothing about those commercials that make me want to buy her album.  I probably will still buy it (I'm waiting to see if Amazon MP3 puts it on sale), but I'm in no rush.

Black History Shoutout: Black Mothers

Actually MY mother, to be specific.

Today is my mother's birthday, so what better day to salute her than this? I don't even know where to begin.  Never in my life have I met anyone as strong, loving, smart, funny, beautiful, and caring as my mama.  To me, she is the perfect model of what a Black woman should be.  She is bold and educated, and will not be treated poorly.  She has been there for me in ways that I couldn't even begin to count or explain.  She's always there to listen, she gives good advice, she's a prayer warrior, and she makes really good pancakes from scratch.  (Y'all know I love food so I HAD to throw that one in there, lol). 

So I stated in a previous post that I am a daddy's girl, there's no denying that, but every day there's something that I do, say or think that shows me that I am my mama's daughter, through and through. 

What my mom (and my dad) have given me, that means the most in my life, has been encouragement.  There was never anything I didn't believe I could accomplish.  If I said I wanted to be an astronaut, lawyer, doctor, teacher, veterinarian, physical therapist-- whatever-- my mom would be there behind me every step of the way, reminding me that I can succeed.  She ad my dad are the reason that I am where I am today. 

She's an amazing mother, the best daughter two people could have ever asked for, a wonderful Soror, a friend.  I can only hope that I can be half the woman she is.  Happy Birthday mama!

Black History Spotlight: Diversity in Veterinary Medicine

Many people know that I am in vet school.  Other than Tuskegee, which is about 50% Black, there isn't a lot of diversity in the veterinary world.  This is a problem, and the American Veterinary Medical Association has recognized that and wants to change it.  I thought this article was very interesting.  It is about two vets, one white, one black, who started working together in the late 60s and are both big proponents of diversity.  Before I had my interview at Tuskegee's vet school, I'd never actually seen a Black veterinarian.  There is one in a neighboring city to my hometown, but I had never met him.  Other minorities are also very underrepresented, and hopefully one day this will change

Check out the article on the website of the AVMA: Diversity in Practice

Black History Shoutout: Black Fathers

I decided that for Black History Month I wanted to talk about a part of the black community that I feel really gets a bad wrap: fathers.  If you only judged what the media potrays, you'd think no Black people have fathers in their lives.  Beyond Scared Straight, 16 & Pregnant, crime dramas and other shows often portray troubled Black teens who are fatherless.  Many of these kids cite lack of a father as the reason for their misbehavior.  (First of that's a big load of bull itself considering that lots of folks with missing fathers are not doing drugs, getting knocked up at 15, committing crimes, etc.  But I digress…)  But what about the rest of us? They might not all be married (and lets face it being married doesn't make you a good parent), but many of us have loving, supportive fathers, who are there for us when we need them.  There are even some fathers out there doing it on their own… they have custody of their children and are the primary care takers, and when I see these fathers, it really makes my heart smile. 

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an ultimate daddy's girl, as most girls tend to be.  Of course we all love our mothers dearly but there's just something about our daddies.  And yes, I am a grown woman who still calls my male parent daddy- father sounds so impersonal.  My daddy is my biggest fan.  He tells every one he knows that I am in vet school.  As a child I have vivid memories of quality time spent with my daddy.  Trips to the fair and the circus, after school visits to the local ice cream shop, trips to the mall, and more.  He was there to make sure I did homework, motivate me to be the best I can be, and teach me that I don't need a man to take care of me because I can be a strong, independent woman.  He was always proud of me because no matter what, he knew I did my best.

 In high school he was probably one of the two favorote band boosters, and even today if I catch up with an old bandmate on Facebook or see them out in the mall, they ALWAYS ask me how my daddy is doing.  He is a man who loves to help children, and kids of all ages love him.  Babies reach for him when they are being held by their mothers.  Kids that he has taught always speack if we are out and they see him, and they are always smiling. 

My wish is that God will send me a husband who will be as good of a husband and father as my daddy is, but I must say, he has set that bar VERY high, so someone has their work cut out for them!  He's always been a blessing in my life, and the lives of others, and I thank God every day for my daddy.  

Week after week  people tune into tv to watch two of my favorite shows.  16 and Pregnant, and its spinoff series, Teen Mom.  The shows follow 16 year olds who are pregnant.  Maybe it is my age speaking, but part of me hopes that young girls watching this will notice the bad things that happen to some of these girls.  Some are put out of their parents' homes, their boyfriends are lazy and refuse to work or help with the baby, their friends distance themselves (or their friends' parents won't allow them to be around these teenage mothers), and they miss many of the most exciting parts of being a teen.  But in reality, I know many of them will not see it that way. 

While I'm sure (or at least I hope) that MTV did not set out to glorify teen pregnancy, many viewers (and non-viewers) believe that is what happening.  One of the most popular teens from the show, Amber, has been in some legal troubles lately, and faced with losing custody of her daughter, she revealed that she ears $280,000 a year from being on the show.  Many are worried that teens will try to get pregnant because they can be on tv, get fans, and make a 6 figure salary just by being a mom. 

I am not sure where I stand.  Probably the best way to explain it is that I am on the fence.  I'd like to think that these girls had common sense to realize that not every girl who gets pregnant at 16 gets to be on a television program and make money.  I'd like to think that some of them would see that having a baby won't guarentee that your boyfriend sticks around, and that your parents won't always be there to babysit.  But I also know that some girls will not look at it that way.  If you think back to the girls who made the pregnancy pact, and the school that's been in the news lately with 90 pregnant teens , then you know that clearly some girls are looking at teen pregnancy through rose-colored glasses.  At this point I'm just glad that I don't have a teenage sister, and I pray that these teens figure out that having a kid is hard, at ANY age, and much harder when you are very young.  

Can I Get a Do-Over?

Don't let the face fool you!

Picture it. Auburn. 2011.  A young woman dressed in professional attire (black slacks, sweater w/ collared shirt underneath) takes her two dogs out for their morning bathroom break.  The neighbor "Crazy Mary" has several outside cats. On the way back inside, one dog, the brown one, sees a cat and decides to chase it.  With all his might he pulled against the leash, which slips from the young woman's hands.  She immediately runs after the dog, calling his name… to no avail.  The dog has his sights on that cat, and he WILL get it.  The dog chases the cat into and through the woods.  Now this young woman is not the outdoorsy type, and refuses to go INTO the woods. She runs along the edges, calling for the little brown dog.  The cat was able to out-run the dog, perhaps running up a tree.  But the brown dog found other things to keep his attention-- a box to play with, and poop that he needed to get out.  He eventually saw the young woman and the other dog standing on the side of the woods and ran back to them.  The young woman let out as many profane words as she could think of, and took the dogs back inside so she could start her day.  And that folks, is how you start a Tuesday.  Have a good week!